User talk:TheDarkOne2.0
Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the User:TheDarkOne2.0 page. Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:55, May 14, 2015 (UTC) Unfinished stories You cannot post incomplete stories here. Doing so will result in its deletion and a warning. You can use pastebin to save a copy. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:52, May 16, 2015 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:41, May 21, 2015 (UTC) ::Your story has a number of punctuation, wording, and cliches, and feels more like fan fiction than a creepy pasta. It also features Jeff the Killer, Slenderman, and Ticci-Toby all of which are prohibited under the No-spinoff rule. I believe Spinpasta accepts those types of stories, but this wiki no longer does. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 18:28, May 24, 2015 (UTC) ::Punctuation doesn't vary between countries. English rules are consistent. "Well, my name is Nissa Krueger,(;) please call me Nissa.", "I didn't wait for the figure to climb up the tree,(;) I jumped...", ""Oh no you don't(,) you bastard!"" ::Punctuation cont.: "Everything was fine...(,) until...", "me...but something was off." (ellipses are typically for indicating pauses in dialogue and commission of words from a quote. Using it as a 'dramatic pause' comes off as melodramatic. Especially since you use it over 13+ times.) ::Wording issues: "Her eyes...her eyes" Why is the author writing out a stammer, which are typically reserved for spoken narratives? Additionally dialogue should be spaced out from paragraphs. ""Run Nissa!" I heard him shout. ... In his hands was a bloody knife, which he proceeded to swing at me. "You might have injured me last night,"" ::Wording issues cont.:"Tourette Syndrome" should be "Tourette's syndrome" (as the condition is named after the first recorded case.) Fragmented sentences: "How this person...this monster forced him to murder his father.", " As for the person who attacked me in my house?", etc. Capitalization issues: "Fallen Angel" should not be capitalized. ::Story issues: Cringe-worthy lines that make this seem like a fanfic/OC introduction. "She was (still is, obviously) a Fallen Angel named Nyla, the daughter of the Spirit of Vengeance himself.", "Then, I felt her pierce my mind as she came out, though this time she put me in control. "You were saying?" I inquired as I attacked with wings, which I then realized were razor sharp." (magically growing wings only mentioned once as an image in a reflection.), "For some reason though, people say my methods are almost like Jeff's." Heterochromia that is mentioned, but has no impact/influence on the story itself. ::Finally a spinoff="a product marketed by its association with a popular character, movie, personality, etc." Your story relies heavily on JtK, Ticci-Toby, and Slenderman and thus violates the spinoff rule. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 19:26, May 24, 2015 (UTC) ::You'd have to do a Spinoff Appeal in order to post it. Although I should advise you that the quality standards for blacklisted subjects is much more stringent, so it would likely be better to take it to SPW and get feedback on it over there and how to improve the story before attempting an appeal. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 19:59, May 24, 2015 (UTC) :::I'd suggest looking over this guide on CPC/OC stories. As a lot of your message has implications that are referenced/addressed there. Focusing on being descriptive to inspire fan-art doesn't seem like the best approach. Really, you should build up a fan-base by making original/involving story lines. Repeatedly referencing physical attributes that have no impact on the character or story around them feels like padding. If you look at a lot of the original creepy pasta monster stories, the focus was typically on the protagonist dealing with the monster and not the entity itself. :::For example Smile Dog, The Rake, Penpal (surprisingly very little detail is given to the stalker in that story and that inspires most of the terror.) all seem geared towards the protagonist and not the OC. Best of luck in your future writing endeavors and working your OC into your new non-creepypasta story. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:04, September 17, 2015 (UTC) Hello Read your story on EmpyrealInvective's talk page, just kidding, I read your message, and there is absolutely no spinoffs allowed of those characters. Even if they are briefly mentioned, it is considered a spinoff, because that's using the intellectual property of an author. Except for the Spinpasta wiki. Spinpasta.wikia.com. SoPretentiousTalk· 19:21, May 24, 2015 (UTC) :Simply click here and then select "Start a discussion" (This is the title) and then in "post a new message to the writer's workshop board" post the story. Remember, it may take a few days for someone to respond as there are quite a lot of stories up pending review, but it is worth the wait (typically) as they are quite thorough. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:40, June 11, 2015 (UTC) Re: Welcome back to the site. A lot of people tend to avoid realism in their stories as creating a believable environment is much more difficult. That being said, stories that are more focused on adding an air of realism to their stories have a tendency to be better-received than stories that don't. As always, I would strongly suggest taking your story to the writer's workshop first for feedback before attempting to upload it to the site. Best of luck. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 17:25, December 9, 2015 (UTC) :No problem, always good to see an old face making the rounds. If you include some links to your stories on FanFiction I can try to give them a read (although, likely only if I know the source material as otherwise it'd likely be confusing. Best of luck with the writer's workshop, we got a good number of reviewers on there who are pretty familiar with most styles/genres so they can probably help out a bit. Have a good one. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 18:47, February 2, 2017 (UTC) ::Hmm, I'll try to give it a read this weekend, but since I'm not really familiar with the show (I haven't watched any new anime for quite a while now) I don't know how insightful I can be for the story. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 19:45, February 3, 2017 (UTC)